My Enneagram
Being a Four on the Enneagram, often called The Individualist or The Romantic, means being deeply attuned to your inner world, emotions, and the desire for authenticity. Fours are sensitive, introspective, and driven by a need to express their uniqueness. Here’s a deeper look at what it means to be a Four:
Core Motivation
Fours long to find themselves and their significance. They want to be seen as special and unique, and they fear being emotionally insignificant or without identity.
Key Traits
Emotional Depth: Fours experience feelings intensely. They are often melancholic, poetic, and emotionally honest—even when the truth is painful.
Creativity: Many Fours express themselves through art, music, writing, or other creative pursuits. Their sensitivity helps them notice beauty and emotion in places others may overlook.
Authenticity: Fours crave realness. They can’t stand being fake or shallow and are often on a journey to understand their true selves.
Longing and Envy: Fours often feel that something essential is missing from their lives—and that others have it. This can lead to feelings of envy or unworthiness.
Core Fear
That they have no identity or personal significance.
Core Desire
To find themselves and their unique identity, and to be seen and loved for who they truly are.
Core Weakness
Envy — the belief that others possess qualities they lack and that they are somehow fundamentally flawed or lacking.
The Inner Life of a Four
Fours often feel like outsiders looking in. They may compare themselves to others and feel they don’t measure up or that something is missing. Yet at the same time, they often take pride in being different or unconventional. They may dwell on the past, seeking meaning in their emotional experiences. Many Fours are drawn to melancholy—not out of misery, but because it feels real, meaningful, and even beautiful.
Healthy Fours
At their best, Fours are:
Creative, inspired, and deeply connected to beauty and meaning.
Compassionate and authentic.
Self-aware and accepting of themselves and others.
Unhealthy Fours
In stress or disintegration, Fours may become:
Withdrawn, moody, self-absorbed, and overly fixated on their flaws.
Envious, believing they are less than others.
Lost in fantasy or emotional overwhelm.
Fours and Growth
To grow, Fours benefit from:
Practicing gratitude and grounding in the present moment.
Focusing on what is instead of what’s missing.
Taking action rather than being lost in introspection.
Learning to see that they are already whole and lovable just as they are.
Wings
4w3 (The Aristocrat): More ambitious, image-conscious, and performance-driven. These Fours seek uniqueness through success and creativity.
4w5 (The Bohemian): More introverted, intellectual, and withdrawn. These Fours delve deeply into their inner world and often have strong artistic or philosophical interests.
Famous Fours
Frida Kahlo
Virginia Woolf
Bob Dylan
Prince
Tori Amos
Lana Del Rey
Fours often live life through the lens of emotion and meaning. They are the soul-searchers, the beauty-seekers, and the heartfelt creators of the Enneagram. Their gift to the world is their authenticity, vulnerability, and deep capacity for feeling.